


Wels has a cat problem

by Normality



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Gen, Hels isn’t actually a cat, He’s just very peculiar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Normality/pseuds/Normality
Summary: And his name is Helsknight
Comments: 12
Kudos: 87





	1. I didn’t sign up for this

**Author's Note:**

> This is hella ooc but I thought it was a fun little thing to write out :P

The land surrounding Wels’ buildings was peaceful, a lazy buzz from a fluffy bee, a quiet splash from the river or the occasional moo from a cow were the only things that broke the quiet tranquility

At least it was before he showed up

“Hels I swear to notch if you don't come down i'm getting the damn spray bottle!” Wels shouted throwing a stick at the man who was currently attempting to haul himself onto his top shelf

Dodging the stick with a loud screech, Hels leered down at him, “what is it that kids say when you can't get them,” he grinned taking off his helmet “na na na-na na you can't catch me” he yelled, throwing his helmet as Wels

Moving out the way Wels glared at him, “Hels come down we don't need to do it this way” he said looking around for more things to throw

“You’re not my admin you can’t make me” Hels smirked showing a toothy grin

“if you don’t come down I’ll go up there and drag you down myself”

“Now now Wels, remember what X said about being kind to your guests” Hels snickered “threatening to drag your housemate is a very mean thing to do” batting his eyelashes in mock innocence 

Wels raised his fists, baring his teeth as he looked up. Hels was careful perched on the top shelf looking down on him, a smug grin resting on his pale face 

“Hels”

“Wels”

“Come down”

“Make me”

Letting out an angry growl he picked up Hels helmet as he marched out of the room, “if that's how you wanna play, then that's how we're gonna play”

Hels didn’t respond simply turning around as he curled up

Stomping down his stairs, Wels flopped onto the bench in his dining room before screaming into one of the pillows. Angrily staring at the helmet on the floor, he considered his next move

Frowning as he got an idea

Sitting up he pulled out his communicator, quickly calling their beloved admin

...ring ...ring… ring… click

“Good morning Wels” Xisuma chirped 

“Morning X”

“How's it going, everything alright with Hels” 

“Not really to be honest…” pulling his knees up to his chest Wels continued, “Hey if Ex is there could you put him on the line”

“Yeah he's still here unfortunately” X grumbled “i'll see if i can get him” 

Wels pulled the speaker away from his ear as Xisuma yelled for his unwanted housemate to come to him, his voice echoing in his base. He heard some ineligible bickering before Ex talked loudly into the mic

“Hello knight is something wrong with everyone's least favorite champion” 

“Hey Ex he’s gone and put himself up on a shelf and he's refusing to come down”

“Oh he's doing it again isn't he” 

“Doing it again?”

“Yeah doing it again, he did the same thing when we first found him, except instead of climbing up on a shelf he hid under my desk and attempted to stab anyone who got too close, does he have any weapons?” Ex questioned

“No i already took away his sword, and his knife, and boot dagger, arm shive, bag of throwing stars-” 

“Did you take his helmet shank” Ex interrupted

“Um yeah I did” Wels said, poking Hels' helmet with his foot

“wonderful, now that he's unarmed what you wanna do is catch him and force him into submission, our world works on violence and power structures, you have to show him you're the boss around there”

“Y-you can't be serious, i can't do that to him” Wels shouted in disbelief, looking back at his stairs he forced his voice into a whisper, “in case you didn't know, I follow the knights code, and while I dont remember everything perfectly I’m pretty sure forcing someone into submission is against that”

“Ok well...” Ex seemed at a loss for words, “what if you treat him like a wild cat”

“A wild cat?” Wels cocked his head as he thought about the idea

“I mean he's kinda like a cat if you think about it, standoffish, shy, aggressive If you get to close”

“Maybe...”

“Treat him like you would a stray, see what we originally did when we found him was- HEY X wait for me, I gotta go knight, X said I could join him in restocking but he’s leaving right now” 

“Wait a minute you can't just-”

“Sorry Hels if he’s still giving you trouble I’ll swing by later” 

“I-”

“Bye bye love you all the other nice ooey gooey shit you idiot say to each oth-” 

There was a click and the dial tone

Frowning, Wels ended the call

“Damnit X” he muttered, “Treat him like a cat, ok I got this... i think”

\---

“Oh Hels” Wels sang, carefully walking into the room with a large basket held within his hands

Hels only grunted in response 

“I have some food for you, I didn’t know what you liked so I got a bunch of different things” He said, putting the basket down and pulling food out

He was met with one tired red eye as Hels looked at him

“Do you like... apples?” Wels said timidly 

Hels grunted and flipped back continuing to ignore him

After about ten minutes of coaxing Wels gave up

\---

“Who’s good with cats” Wels sighed resting against his kitchen island, “I could as Grian but I think Hels might scare him. I could ask Doc but I think he might scare Hels. Maybe Scar, but I don't wanna bother him”

He was out of options

Tapping on his communicator he pulled up Scars contact info, giving a silent prayer he sent him a message

A few minutes of pacing later he was met with a ping 

Oh thank notch

Opening the video request he was met with the dirty face of Scar

“Hello Wels” Scar beamed

“Hey Scar, um, what are you up too” he responded awkwardly

“Oh well i'm glad you asked, im finally” he moved his camera as he panned around the shopping district, “clearing the cowmercial district of the mycelium menace” he said smiling 

“Ahh that's great could you spare a minute and come help me, I have a problem with a.. a… a cat?” Wels said slowly

“Aww of course, baby kitty or adult kitty” Scar cooed

“Well he’s not really-”

“actually don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise, i'll be over in a minute”

“Scar hes not-”

Click

Damnit was hanging up on him gonna be a trend

\---

Wels was pacing back and forth, chewing on his nail nervously as he awaited the magicians arrival

A knock

Opening the door he was greeted with a lot of purple and a happy grin

“Hi Wels”

“Hey Scar thanks for coming, you uh, you left the beard behind”

“Yeah, turns out Jellie really likes it, and now its her newest toy” Scar laughed

“You'll have to tell me about how she's been” Wels said moving out of the doorway, “please come in come in, he’s in the back”

“Ooh I’m excited, I love cats” Scar giggled, practically skipping into the large foyay

Wels attempted to explain, “Scar he’s not-” 

“Don’t worry Hels I’m great with cats” And with a nod and a wink he skipped around the corner and disappeared up the stairs 

Wels sighed, “three… two… one-”

“Wels I don't mean to alarm you but there’s a person upstairs on your shelf” Scar whisper-shouted quickly shuffling down the stairs, almost tripping over his robe

And he’s back 

“Scar listen the cat problem isn't really a cat problem, Hels just acts like a cat and i didn't really know what to do” Wels said sheepishly 

Scar seemed to deflate, He took a purple bag from his robe looking at it sadly, “when you said you had a cat problem, i thought you meant an actual cat, I even brought jellie snacks…” Giving a shrug he opened the bag, popping one of the treats into his mouth

Wels grimaced as he saw him eating the treats

Scar tilted his head looking at him, “what?”

“You’re eating cat treats”

“You can actually eat jellie snacks I make them myself, well I actually have Stress help me make them, but either way they're completely safe for people to eat” Scar said proudly, offering one of the treats to Wels

Hels took the small biscuit in his hand, the small misshapen paw print in the center giving away the fact they were homemade. Nibbling on the edge he was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t taste like fish or cat food

“Pretty good huh, jellie goes crazy for these” Scar said shaking the bag

“Yeah I gotta admit they're pretty good” Wels said with a smile, “Can I offer you something to drink while I explain why I actually brought you”

“No no its ok,” Scar said with a shake of his hand, “just tell me what you want me to do, it may not be a cat problem but i'm still willing to help”

Wels smiled at the positive sentiment, “of course, Hels currently is up on my top shelf refusing to to come down and no matter what I do he just ignores me”

“So let me guess, you want me to bring him down by treating him like a cat?” Scar said stroking an imaginary beard

“Yes”

“Hmm ok”


	2. Scars a bit too good with cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Round 2 of this ooc mess of a story :P

Carefully walking up the stairs behind Scar, Wels stood beside him as he spoke

“Hello Hels” Scar chirped

The man in question quickly shot up, arching his back in a very cat like manner as he glared at Wels and then at Scar

“How dare you approach the champion known as helskinght” He hissed, “what business do you have coming to my domain you pompous warlock” Hels tilted himself dangerously far over the edge, looking at the men below him in disgust, “Have you come to gloat, to laugh at my suffering, or perhaps you've come to claim the bounty over my head, tell me, what is it that you need Bad?

“What” Scar looked up at Hels with confused expression, “I-I’m not bad, I’m good, g-good times with Scar, i'm the good one...” he looked down as he picked at his thumb, unsure of what to do next

Wels caught his counterparts eyes, squinting, he moved his index finger horizontally across his throat, baring his teeth as Hels paled and broke eye contact

Quickly clearing his throat Hels spoke again, “O-oh I see you’re his… counterpart”

“Yeah” Scar said quietly not making eye contact

Hels looked back at Wels with a panicked look on his face, biting his lip, he continued his attempt to talk with Scar

“so, um, how’s he been, bad I mean?”

“Oh you know he still doesn't listen and he usually just picks on me and my magic, but he’s been doing fine i guess” Scar said rubbing the back of his head

Wels made a mental note to go over to Scars base later and scare Bad into behaving

“Sounds like something he'd do” Hels said “is he still afraid of cats?”

Scar let out a small laugh, “yeah he’s been trying to get rid of Jellie since he met her, but of course, Jellie is a strong independent cat and she’s been holding her ground against him” he finished proudly

Hels gave a weak smile

Scar smiled back, regaining his usual pep as he continued, “you should’ve seen him when I first introduced him to Jellie he was all hiding behind me and asking why I dared to have a ‘demonic creature’ in my possession” he said imitating his counterparts deeper voice

“That's ironic coming from that man who tried to summon a demon” Hels laughed, “he’s never liked cats, whenever NPG would bring one back to our base from the overworld, they would always end up going missing a few days later”

Wels noticed Scar stiffen at those words, attempting to change the subject before hels could make the situation worse, he spoke up, “Hels, Scar has actually brought you something” gently nudging Scar he motioned to hels

“I did..? Oh I did. I have a gift for you” Scar said pulling out the purple bag, “have a jellie snack”

Raising an eyebrow Hels looked at him

“A Jellie snack? like a snack made for Bads dog Gelli or like…”

“No like a jellie snack” Scar said with a pout, “try one” reaching up he offered one of the cookies to Hels who took carefully, giving it a sniff and a lick

While he was distracted, Scar suddenly pulled Welsclose, lowering his voice, “The next steps are very important, so I need you to leave the room, ok?”

Wels looked at him in shock, “i can't do that, what if he attacks you”

Scar looked him in the eye, forest green meeting sky blue, “Wels do you trust me?”

Wels bit his cheek, he trusted Scar with his life, but he couldn't leave him alone with this sad psychotic version of himself, if he didn't stay Scar could lose his life

Then again he would just respawn...

Slumping his shoulders Wels nodded in agreement turning towards the stairs

Scar watched as Wels walked downstairs. Turning his attention back to Hels he smiled, “well, what do you think, me and stress made them?”

“I guess these aren’t that bad” Hels said chewing

“If you come down i'll be willing to give you even more, I have a whole bag full” Scar sang, shaking the purple bag

Hels let out a bark or laughter, “do you think so lowly of me wizard, to think I would be so easily persuaded with a bag of cat treats”

“They are freshly made”

“...”

\---

After 30 minutes, during which Wels had delivered leather to beef, worked on Welsmart, and prepared a grave for Hels if he decided to strike,

He found himself sitting at his dining room, polishing his armor. Letting out a sigh he leaned back in his chair staring at his reflection on his chestplate

“How did I end up like this, all I wanted was more help, not a clone of my worse qualities”

He moved his head to the table, staring at the stairs with unfocused eyes, and lost in his thoughts, thoughts that were interrupted with a ping

<GoodTimeWithScar> you can come upstairs now

<GoodTimeWithScar> and silence your communicator

<WelsKnight> ?

Strapping his chest plate back on, he muted his communicator as he quietly walked back upstairs

As he turned the corner he was met with an odd sight

The man known as Helsknight, the self proclaimed champion of hells, a proud knight forged in the nether, the supposed one man army, the man who had a massive chip on his shoulder, was currently laid across Scars lap, having his head pet like some kinda overgrown cat

As Wels step forward quietly he was met with the sound of purring, somehow Scar had managed to turn the angry stuck up knight turned into a purring puddle of armor

Scar caught his eye giving him a smug grin. Petting with one hand and typing with the other, Wels felt the buzz of a message, looking at Scar he open the dm

<GoodTimeWithScar> Like whatcha see

<WelsKnight> how did you manage this

<GoodTimeWithScar> turns out

<GoodTimeWithScar> he likes catnip

<GoodTimeWithScar> like really likes catnip

<WelsKnight> Where did you get catnip

<WelsKnight> Was it in the treats?

<GoodTimeWithScar> No it was on my clothing from this morning 

<GoodTimeWithScar> That’s why jellie took the beard

<WelsKnight> Scar you’re a genius 

<GoodTimeWithScar> you haven't seen anything yet

<GoodTimeWithScar> Watch this

Wels watched wide eyed as Scars grin widened and he grabbed Hels face, squishing his cheeks between his hands and babbled to him in soft baby talk. He saw the knight respond with a lazy giggle and a soft pat on Scars face

Covering his mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the sound of his laughter, Wels slowly walked towards the couch, his movements alerting Hels, who shot up and rolled off the couch, hitting the floor with a thud

“What’s he doing here, how much did you see, how hard do I have to kill you” the man scrambled onto unsteady feet look at Wels with a brightly blushing face

Scar rolled his eyes as he pulled Hels back onto his lap and continued to pet his head, shushing him gently. The blush on Hels face deepen and he refused to look Wels in the eye

He tried in vain to move away, a low growl emanating from the back of his throat. However Scar was unphased and kept his arms wrapped securely around his waist, successfully rendering the knight immobile

“Hey now you’re gonna hurt yourself” Scar said reached into his sleeve and pulling out another treat, “Here you go Helsi”

Wels could see the gears turn as Hels looked between him, Scar, and the treat held in his hand

Walking over to the other end of the couch he sat down crossing his legs, “Go on Helsi, take the cookie”, Wels said chuckling at Hels new nickname

Hels snapped his teeth at him, “leave me alone you pathetic excuse for a warrior, forget what you’ve seen” he was desperately trying to keep up the tough guy act despite his current appearance

“I’m the pathetic excuse for a warrior?” Wels asked with one eyebrow raised “Last time I checked I wasn’t the one being coddled like child,” motioning to way Hels was being held in Scars lap, “besides me leaving won’t change anything, I’ve already seen everything and i'm probably gonna remember this till the day I permanently die”

“Oh why you son of a-”

“Wels dont be rude” Hels bit back both a swear and an unflattering comment about Wels mother, as Scar interrupted him, “He’s not being coddled like a child, he’s being coddled like a cat” Scar said sadistic smile crossing his lips as he squished Hels face

Hels face grew even redder at his words, looking at him with an annoyed expression, he crossed his arms as he buried himself into scars robe, refusing to make eye contact

The three sat in silence, scar and Wels talking about Hels, before he quietly emerged and whispered something into Scars ear

Scar looked at him with a smile before releasing him

Hels stood with unstable legs as we wobbled over and stood shaking in front of Wels

Bring his red face close to Wels he spoke quietly, “listen up carefully, cause i'm only telling you this once… if you ever, ever bring this up with anyone, especially my servermates, I will personally shove my armored foot so far up your ass you will be able to cut your tongue on my heel” his words slurred together, unintimidating.

Giving Hels a lazy nod, Wels allowed a thin smile to crawl upon his face

Hels glared at him as he layed back down and repositioned himself in between his and Scars lap, “and in return I will give you my word that I will try not kill you. And if you promise to invite Scar over more often”

Looking over at Scar, he smiled at his enthusiastic thumbs up, “you're a strange man Hels” Wels said, quietly petting his head, “but i guess, i'll let you have this”

\---

Over the next few days Wels learned, overly affectionate needy Hels was about 10x worse than cold aloof Hels, and soon he was kicked out of his house and went to go live with scar


End file.
